Papa's weekend
by mathewthesoulstealingspider
Summary: What happens when the girls ditch the boys with the kids for the weekend? Kid blowing up the kitchen, Blackstar freaking out, Soul writing his will and Stein having his coat chewed by a blod of...Toxic stuff. SoMa, TsuStar, KidXCrona, SteinXMarie. T because I'm not sure.
1. Chapter 1

**Heya! Um first story, so yeah ^_^ Tell me what you think, please? Kthanxbye!**

* * *

_Dear Soul,_  
_Tsubaki, Crona and I have gone on a girls weekend, please take care of Hana._  
_Please inform Blackstar and Kid that Crona and Tsubaki are fine._  
_Love Maka_  
_p.s If so much as a hair on Hanas' head is out of place I will make sure you never have children again, do you understand me Evans?_

Soul read the note once, again and one final time before sighing and running a hand through his spikey, white hair.  
'Better call Blackstar before he starts freaking out.' Soul thought picking up his black and yellow flip phone, quickly dialing his ninja friends' number.  
"Hello?" Blackstars' tired voice sounded though the speaker.  
"Yo." Soul replied, lazily leaning on the counter top, Makas' note still in his hand.  
"Oh Soul, 'sup man?" Blackstar then proceeded to yawn, he had probably just gotten back from a mission.  
"Maka has taken Tsubaki and Crona on a girls weekend or something like that." Soul told Blackstar in a bored tone, checking the time to see if he was running late to pick Hana up, which he fortunately was not.  
"Dude! What?! I can't take care of Aoi, I can barely cook for myself let alone my kid!" Blackstar exclaimed, mildly freaking out.  
"Dude, chill, oh and speaking of Kid I'm not telling him Crona's gone." Soul told his blue haired friend.  
"COWARD!" Soul chuckled and hung up, checking the time once again.  
'Huh, time to pick Hana up.' Soul thought, exiting the apartment block and starting up his motorbike.

* * *

Girls p.o.v  
"Tsubaki, it'll be fine, Blackstar's not gonna kill Aoi." Liz tried to calm down a wailing Tsubaki, whose sadness suddenly became rage.  
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WENT THROUGH FOR THAT CHILD?! NOOO YOU DON'T BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T HAD TO CARRY A FREAKING THING IN YOUR STOMACH FOR NINE MONTHS! DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT DOES TO YOU?! IT FREAKING MAKES YOU SPEW AND IT MOVES AROUND AND MAKES YOU WANT TO EAT RANDOM CRAP ALL THE TIME AND NOW SHE'LL BE GONE WHEN I GET BACK!" Tsubaki yelled at a stunned Liz who had shifted around to hide behind Patti, Tsubaki once again burst into tears.  
"I'm sorry Liz, it's just very emotional because the next babies going to be a boy and I don't wanna be the only girl in the house." a totally calm Tsubaki told a freaked out Liz.  
"Okay...scary." Liz whispered to her younger sister whom she was still holding on to. Meanwhile Crona was sitting in ' ', or the closest thing she could find in a car, muttering something along the lines of 'I don't know how to deal with this' while Kim rubbed her back telling the other pink haired girl everything would be fine. Marie was on the phone with Stein reassuring him that she had not infact been captured by Kishin eggs or actually left him.  
Kami sighed, rubbing her temples, Maka looked over at her mother who in return sighed again.  
"Maka, it's your turn to drive" Kami told her pulling over and undoing her seatbelt and stepping out of the large car she then proceeded to swap seats with her daughter.  
About ten minutes later the old radio played softly and the car was quiet, until a squeal was heard from the back seat.  
"I love this song, turn it up!" the resident witch cried, a quick glare was sent from Kami and Maka.  
Maka sighed and turned the radio up as requested.  
"I wonder how the guys are doing?"

* * *

Back with the guys  
"Do you even know how to change a diaper?" Soul asked a very confused Ox, who in return shook his head.  
"I was hoping you knew how..." he told the white haired man looking at his small son, Soul sighed, looking at the back of the diaper packet for any instructions on how to put the seemingly easy contraption on.  
The scythe's attention was immediately cut off by a large explosion, that conveniently came from the kitchen...Where a certain, rather hopeless, shinigami was 'cooking'.  
"KID WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" Blackstar yelled at his shinigami friend running into the over sized kitchen, a scrapping was heard and the tap started running.  
"I was just trying to do what Crona usually does..." the guilty voice of Kid told his ninja friend, Soul (for what seemed like the millionth time that night)sighed again and ran a hand through his snowy hair.  
A knock on the door distracted Soul from his thoughts of murdering his friends, leaving Ox he answered the door to find Stein and his son, Neji, standing at the door.  
"Hey come on in, don't mind the smell, Kid tried to cook..." Soul told the Steins, stepping aside allowing the insane doctor and his sweet son access into Kids house.  
More yelling was heard from the kitchen and what sounded like a couple pots being thrown around, Stein chuckled and made his way towards the shinigamis' kitchen.  
"How about I cook?" Stein said, upon entering the kitchen he found Blackstar and Kid chucking various items at each other, meanwhile a bowl of cereal was on fire and a giant glob of...thing was slowly making it's way out of the garbage bin. Now Stein had seen a lot of crazy crap in his life, but that thing forced him to let out a shudder.  
"Now boys, how about you get out, so that I can cook." Stein stated, carefully edging away from the black blob of whatever Kid had tried to cook, the two boys looked at their old teacher and nodded quickly, exiting the kitchen at a rapid pace.  
"Well." Stein said, pulling a wicked awesome pose. " Let's get started!"  
A maniacal laughter was heard from the kitchen as the men gathered around and watched in awe as Neji changed Kaminaris' diaper.  
After a couple of minutes Stein came out of the kitchen, with a white apron and a towel over his shoulder.  
"Yo, dinner's ready." He called to his ex-students and the children in the room, everybody except Neji looked a bit uneasy, however made their way to Kids' large dining room, on the table was one of the most perfect bowls of spaghetti bolongeise that they had ever seen. The pasta was cooked just right and there were enough meatballs for all of them. All of the boys started drooling at the sight of the delicious meal before them.  
"Hey wait, can Shini and Kaminari eat that?" Soul asked Stein, the man in question started winding his screw, shrugging as he did so.  
"There's some puree in the cup board that they can eat." Kid pointed out, turning to the kitchen to fetch the puree.  
"Well..." Soul said taking his seat next to Blackstar. "This weekends gonna be fun..."


	2. Chapter 2

"HOLY MOTHER OF SHINIGAMI! WHAT IS THAT!?" Black Star screams echoed down the hallways, after dinner the boys (and children) had settled down to watch a movie, however this rare peace was disturbed when our favourite ninja came running down the hallways screaming bloody murder. Behind him trailed a black blob of some unknown substance that had grown glob like feet and hands, currently this this was making it's way into Kid's large lounge room where the rest of the guys and kids currently sat.  
The first to react was of course Kid due to the fact that this thing was not only disgustingly asymmetrical itself, but it had knocked down one of his vases, making the whole room out of proportion, and also left a trail of toxic doom, so you know, he kinda freaked out majorly.  
"Uh, maybe we should get the kids out of here?" Soul asked his companions, his eyes not once leaving the thing that had decided to make a feast of Steins' pimp coat.  
"NOOOO! Not my coat!" Stein cried in melancholy, Black Star and Kid nodded to Soul, whom swiftly picked up Hana and Shini, quickly scanning for Aoi, but the blue haired girl was no where to be seen.  
The glob of doom or rather Toxicky, as Blackstar had 'affectionately' called it, let out a mighty shriek that sounded something like a cat that had swallowed bag pipes being run over by a truck, turned to reveal Aoi whom had begun to finger paint with some of the excess glob that oozed out of Toxicky's arm like thing. Soul and Black Star's eyes widened as Aoi giggled and splashed the goop all over the walls, Kid then proceeded to faint right into Neji who was sitting there innocently watching the television.  
"Aoi, be a good girl and come to daddy..." Black Star said softly, attempting to lure his daughter away from Toxicky. Aoi giggled and picked up some goo, throwing it in Soul's general direction. Soul jumped, shivers running down his spine as the black liquid started to ooze and boil, the sign of death appearing above it before it corroded away at Kid's black carpet.  
"Oh kami, Tsubaki is going to kill me..." Black Star sighed, a expression of pure agony and worry crossed his face as he thought of his pregnant wife chasing after him, half her arm transformed into a sword and the rest into a long chain that gleamed along with her thoughts of satisfaction in her husband's demise, of course this was Black Star's imagination, the real thing would be much much worse. Kid had eventually come around however fainted again after seeing the ruined carpet.  
"Any ideas on what to do?" Soul asked Stein who decided to stop mourning his ultimately sexy coat to pay attention to the matter on hand.  
"I wouldn't have a clue..."

* * *

_Back with the girls_  
"Oh wow this is great!" Kim exclaimed upon jumping out of the cramped car and onto the gravel that made a loud crunch beneath her feet as she landed.  
"Yeah, much better than in the brochure." Tsubaki said as the group made their way to the lobby of the resort that they would be spending the weekend at.  
The girls made their way into the front desk and rung the bell, they were then greeted by a friendly looking girl, probably in her late teens.  
"Welcome to Death Resort, how may I help you today?" she asked in a bubbly voice, her purple hair flying in every direction as she bounced on the spot.  
"Uh, we have a reservation." Maka told the girl.  
"Ok, under what name?" the girl asked taking a seat in front of the computer.  
"Um, Evans, Star, Ford, Death, Stein, Albarn and Thompson times two." Maka told the young woman who tapped at the keys quickly before then spinning on her chair, lunging at the keys that hung on a rack, she then picked the keys off before appearing before the group and handing them their keys.  
"Here you go! Have a nice stay!" The girl exclaimed before disappearing into thin air.  
"Somebody needs to lay off on the coffee." Liz muttered looking at the set of keys that she had been given.  
"Well, let's go! The sooner we unpack the sooner we can get to the fun stuff!" Kim yelled, earning her a few looks from anyone who happened to be passing at the time, Kim shrugged it off, grabbing Marie's hand and pulling.  
"Let's go, let's go, let's go!" Kim continued pulling at Marie's arm, Patti giggled before miraculously sprinting towards the two in her heels.  
"Patti! Be- too late..." Liz sighed as her little sister crashed into one of the staff members, more specifically a boy who now had left-overs and a blush on his face.  
"Oh! I'm really sorry!" Patti apologized to the poor boy, jumping off him and extending a hand to him. The boys face just turned redder and redder however took Patti's hand allowing her to help him up. Just as she did so, her phone went off.  
"I want candy  
I want candy  
I want candy  
I want can-"  
"Hello?" Patti said into the speaker of her orange phone.  
"HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME WITH YOUR STUPID KID!" Patti pulled the phone away from her ear just in time, she switched the side of her phone rubbing her now sore ear.  
"Oh c'mon Ragnarok, we're all gone and everyone else has a child to look after." she pleaded with the demon weapon.  
A muffled response was heard in return.  
"Please? You can stay at Kid's place and I'll stop making giraffes out of your reports!"  
Another muffled reply was heard.  
"Really? YAY! Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!" she yelled into the speaker before hanging up.  
"You're trusting Ragnarok with Allie?" Crona asked Patti, raising an eyebrow.  
"Yup!" Patti replied.

* * *

_With a le guys_  
"How do we kill this thing?" Black Star asked nobody in perticular, staring at his daughter who was still playing with Toxicky, although she seemed unaffected by the gross being, he still worried after seeing what had happened to Kid's carpet, Black Star the proceeded to slip on some of the blacky-green goop that littered the floor of the shinigami's residence. Aoi squeeled with laughter, Toxicky gurgled unhappily.  
Suddenly a bulb appeared above Neji's head, he began pulling funny faces at Aoi and Hana, the two small girls began to giggle loudly, making Toxicky gurgle unhappily once again.  
Neji grabbed Hana from Soul's arms and tickled her, Hana's eyes clenched shut tightly as her laughs got louder and louder, Toxicky started to shake, it then made a sound that sounded like a moan and exploded. Neji then pumped his fist up in the air, 'woo-ing' is triumph while the adults just looked at the blonde boy and the mess in utter shock. Soul coughed into his clenched fist.  
"Well thank kami that's over."


End file.
